Hello Earth.

Expecting

2011-12-21T19:41:00.001+08:00

At times I guess I expect too much from people. I expect more from my friends. I expect them to be just as involve as I am. But I guess it's not always that way. People aren't always what they seem to be. They say one thing but do another. They never preach what they say. I'm not that innocent, I'm very much guilty of it as well. But at least, I'll do the bare minimum.

I don't understand why, and I'll never understand why people are such hypocrites. You can say one thing in my face and yet do another thing right after. Best lah you, seriously best. I wonder why are we still friends? Why do I even bother talking to you. Why do I even try to maintain the friendship? I seriously believe if I don't contact you, neither would you. And maybe I should just stop contacting you.

This Christmas week had taught me to open up my motherfucking eyes. I guess I just have to stop expecting and I wouldn't have to face all the disappointments.

Over

2011-12-17T10:56:00.002+08:00

Fall sem is finally over and so is the year.
I've got so many things plan out but yet I can seem to fit anything to do today.

Busy month

2011-12-05T10:13:00.001+08:00

My body clock is screwed. I've been sleeping at very ungodly hours and waking up when everyone is about to go to bed. ;/ this have gotta change. Been trying to study in advance(having study break!) for my finals but I can't. I just can't seem to be in the 'mood' to study. This sucks. I really wanna do well, like really really really well, but procrastination always get the better of me. D:

2011 is coming to an end, and for the the next 2months I'll be very busy. :(( no like that. Have yet to shop for Christmas, birthday and Chinese New Year. Things are happening too simultaneously and there isn't time for me to get ALL the things that I want. Have yet to plan Christmas night with the group. Have yet to collect their gifts. Yet to get my planner, yet to pack my room/move things around. Yet to pack my wardrobe and clear out stuff. So many things not done and I'm afraid there isn't much time left. Can't exactly go shopping when finals are all coming up within the week and next. Hopefully my time management skills will do good this time round and I get everydamnthing done.

Avus.

2011-11-23T02:06:00.001+08:00

I miss my grandfather, I really do.

Humans are weird.

2011-11-22T01:31:00.004+08:00

They make the simplest thing complicated.

this life.

2011-11-21T02:59:00.003+08:00

Believe

2011-11-03T01:14:00.002+08:00

Hello November

2011-11-02T23:23:00.003+08:00

I hope November would be better.
I hope November would be productive.
I hope November would be much more fun.
I hope November would be full of love.
I know November would be just fine.

One year

2011-10-30T23:12:00.001+08:00

Time flies when you least expected it.
It has a been a year, and I still miss you from time to time.
I wonder how youre doing, what youre doing.
Some times, I even talk aloud to you.
Please watch over those who used to watch over you.

"The pain of losing someone truly close to you eventually will fade. But the memories are forever. I think the one that hits us the most is the fact that we know they won’t be coming back. That’s what breaks me down the most. And the memories, the memories just make it all worse. there won’t be another smile like there’s. There won’t be another laugh like there’s, there won’t be another time where we can reminisce about the good times. We’re just left lonely with a feeling of debt to them. Wishing we could have done whatever could’ve helped to keep that person here. But death is going to happen. We can’t hide or run away from it. It’s apart of the circle of life. For example a flower is growing, soon as it’s fully grown it’s seeds fall off. It’ll produce new flowers. Shrivel up and die just like us. We’re born, we grow up, have kids, grow old and than die. I know losing someone is hard, but we should feel glad that we got to be apart of their life. Out of all the people in the world it was you who they got to spend their life with. That is something i’ll always keep in mind. Something i’ll forever cherish. "

http://andrewxaf.tumblr.com/post/7992566503

Driving the fam

2011-10-10T00:20:00.001+08:00

Finally after so long of getting my license, I drove my family out. Couldn't decide on what to eat, so we headed to the airport where for Aston. Bak was suppose to join us, but he too shy. Lol. Anyway, the queue at Aston was crazy. Drove down to Laguna for the awesomest Japanese food. Finally got to try to sea urchin sushi, I've got to say, it's damn freaking ex. Lol.

Meet Your Perfect Match

2011-09-30T00:08:00.002+08:00

"Seven-year-old Jacqueline Ziliak of Evansville, Ind., didn’t feel well that morning. “Jaz,” as her family calls her, had complained for weeks that her back, chest and knees ached. Her dad noticed bruises, big as half dollars, appearing and disappearing. That morning she really ached, but she said she didn’t want to stay home. It was class picture day. So she went to school and smiled brightly for the camera, a happy little girl with long, light brown hair. It was spring 2008.

The next day, doctors diagnosed her with leukemia.

At the same time, I was one thousand miles away studying journalism at the University of Connecticut and working at my college newspaper. My first assignment: report on a campus bone marrow drive. Volunteers I interviewed asked me if I’d like to join the registry.

“Sure,” I said, but I figured I would probably never get called. They swabbed my cheek with a Q-Tip to collect a cell sample. I filled out some paperwork and left, forgetting about the tiny cluster of cells headed for processing by the bone marrow donor registry, DKMS Americas.

My casual attitude was a luxury, though I didn’t know it at the time. For the Ziliaks, cells dominated every day of their lives. They watched in anxiety as Jaz’s white blood cell count rose and fell, marking the ups and downs of the war raging inside her body. They battled leukemia with chemotherapy, radiation and prayer. Their town tried to aid the fight, holding charity golf tournaments, cookouts, fundraisers and head-shaving parties.

By summer 2009, the leukemia cells retreated. The Ziliaks relaxed, taking a vacation to Disney World to celebrate Jaz’s remission. Then one day that fall, Jaz said she didn’t feel right. There were more tests, and then the dreaded news. She had relapsed. This time, only one life-saving weapon remained. Jaz needed a bone marrow transplant. For Jaz, like 70 percent of all such patients, the news got even worse. No one in her family was a good match. Doctors would need to find her match among the millions of strangers in the national registry. The chances were not great. Six out of 10 patients in need of a bone marrow transplant never find their match and 3,000 people die each year in the U.S. waiting for a transplant.

Finding a match meant much more than locating someone with Jaz’s blood type. Bone marrow matches are based on a complicated DNA-based tissue test called human leukocyte antigen or HLA typing. HLA’s are proteins, or markers, found in most cells. The immune system uses these markers to recognize which cells belong in the body. A close match between the HLA markers in a donor and patient reduces the risk that the patient’s immune system will reject the donor’s bone marrow. Many transplants occur when six or eight of the donor’s markers match the patient. I didn’t know it yet, but I was a perfect match for Jaz – 10 out of 10.
Over the 2009 Thanksgiving break, I was watching TV when the phone rang and my life changed. A woman from DKMS Americas said I might match a little girl fighting for her life. I was stunned. I’d forgotten that I had even registered as a donor. I said I’d call her back. I hung up and tried to absorb the reality of the commitment. Another person’s life, an eight-year-old girl, might depend on me. I called DKMS back. “Okay,” I said. “What do I have to do next?”

I had blood drawn for further testing, all the while imagining this little girl in the middle of a desperate fight. I didn’t know her name or where she lived, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Shortly before Christmas, the Ziliaks got the phone call they had been praying for. There was a stranger, 1,000 miles away, who was a perfect match. DKMS set the donation date for February 10, 2010. It was on.

I worried that something unexpected would happen. What if the little girl didn’t make it until February? What if something suddenly happened to me and I couldn’t donate? Was I really her only option? All of a sudden, a child’s life rested on my ability to not mess up. Then there was the procedure. Many people think of bone marrow donation and picture an invasive operation. They see a giant needle penetrating bone, sucking up the marrow while the donor bears down in excruciating pain. That’s a misconception, but it’s a major obstacle for many people. Twenty percent of extractions do come from the pelvic bone, but the donor is anesthetized and the recovery period involves merely a week of soreness.

Most people are stunned to hear how I donated – no surgery involved. Doctors harvested what they needed directly from my bloodstream. The process, called peripheral blood stem cell donation, is used for 80 percent of all donations. Five days before the donation, I received daily injections of a synthetic protein that increased the amount of blood-forming cells in my bone marrow. My biggest side effects were headaches and bone aches, but I still felt like something wonderful was growing inside my bones.

Those blood-forming cells, essentially baby blood cells, pushed out into my blood stream as they built up in the marrow. Doctors harvested them on the fifth day of injections using a special device called an apheresis machine. For six and a half hours, my blood passed from one wrist through an IV, to the machine. The machine removed the blood-forming cells before returning my blood to my other wrist through another IV. The machine clicked and whirred and I watched as a thick, soupy liquid of swirling cells filled the bag overhead. I also wrote Jaz a letter, although I didn’t know her at the time, and wished her an early Happy Valentine’s Day. Jaz received my marrow on February 11.

DKMS helped me exchange a few anonymous letters with Jaz’s family for the first year after transplant, but donor registries require one full year of confidentiality to prevent unwanted contact. Sharing those few details, the details of Jaz’s life, was so dear to me. As normal life resumed, I held those details close to my heart and settled for the fact that somewhere out there, my marrow helped a little girl make new, healthy blood cells. I knew at least that.

On a warm night in April 2011, 14 months after the donation, I received a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. My jaw dropped when I heard the anxious voice on the other end. She introduced herself as Lainie Ziliak, Jaz’s mother. We spent an emotional hour on the phone. They offered to fly me to Indiana to meet them at the end of May. I now had a name, family and a way to clear up the foggy experience I had lived with for so long.

Moments after the wheels of a tiny regional jet hit the ground, Jaz ran toward me at the gate. I bent down to hug her. Her mother and father were in tears. I was too. Later, in the Ziliaks’ dining room, I could hardly believe that Jaz was sitting next to me. She shook me to attention as she tried to teach me a card game, but her parents wanted to share her story. Jaz grew restless and impatient while everyone kept forgetting whose turn it was at cards. That week, her parents often wiped away tears while telling stories about Jaz’s extended stays in the hospital. I heard about the times when she was too sick to get out of bed, but I’d also hear about the moments when she made her own fun, even while receiving enough chemotherapy to sicken an adult.

Her parents showed me a home video of Jaz, all decked out in her hospital gown on the “catwalk,” performing Right Said Fred’s classic, “I’m Too Sexy” for a room full of doctors and nurses. Jaz smiled in bashful pride.

We celebrated her tenth birthday during my stay and I’m looking forward to celebrating more in the years to come. I’ll also be sending her packages for what her family calls Jaz’s second birthday – February 11. That’s donation day for Jaz, when she got a second chance at life. And me? That’s the day I gained a little sister and more fulfillment than I could possibly explain"

By Caitlin Emma

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/meet-your-perfect-match/

I think this came just in the right time, I read this after doing the HLA testing. I made the right choice ^^ and I think it's a sign. HAHAHA. Go be a potential donor

Its better to give than to receive

2011-09-29T03:25:00.002+08:00

A saying that goes

It's better to give than to receive.

I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

From the Bible, Acts 20:35 (King James Version)
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/207300.html

I was taught to give. But just how much must I give? I suddenly thought about all that I've been giving. I ain't giving them the right people. People who give and give and give to me, I take them for granted and people who couldn't give a damn, okay, maybe not consciously, but still, hello. I GIVE A LOT OKAY. CAN YOU TAKE AND REMEMBER TO GIVE BACK TOO? You people are the worst. And it's not like you can't afford to get something in return? AHHHHHHHH.

To give and not expect anything in return.

Well, I CANT DO THAT, at least not to every Tom, Dick or Harry. AND I DONT BELIEVE ANY OF YOU CAN DO IT TO EVERYBODY AS WELL. Just so you know, if you are someone dear to me... I never, never expected anything in return for whatever I do/give. Okay, maybe just being appreciative about it or a simple thank you or a hug or you could be nice and just get me what I want. LOL.

Anyway, I suddenly thought about this because I've just spend a little bomb on presents/gifts. But I think its time I rearrange my priority and give to people who deserve it. Take for example: The people who has given me more than I can ever ask for, my family ♥ (I thank God for you) and a handful of people that ~~for now~~ I believe I can count and depend on and to the less fortunate :). So from now, I'm gonna be calculative cause it doesn't pay to be generous. Money doesn't grow on trees, they come from the hardwork of my dad and uncle. So for those of you who I've been giving and you 他的妈 don't know how to appreciate or give back, too bad lahdeh. lol.

Vain

2011-09-28T23:21:00.001+08:00

I did my first of many to come. I dont really like the after feeling, its like.. so 'gaowei'. Like there's something there and you just wanna take it off. ahhhhh. fuck. oh well, the price of wanting to look 'cool'~ LOL

Rolling in the deep - Linkin Park

2011-09-28T02:07:00.001+08:00

F1

2011-09-28T00:37:00.001+08:00

Worked at f1 this year, again. Doing the same old thing but with a different group of people. I missed my last year group. fuck. :(( Anyway, this year was at Padang and yes, I got to see all the performance. Happygirl91. I think the best performance was definitely by Linkin Park. But the crowd was fucking dull. Seriously, i think the worst place to host a concert is in Singapore. The crowd don't get high enough. The other time when I went for Bodyslam's concert in Bangkok.. the crowd's atmosphere was damn freaking high. Everyone was jumping and singing along. Oh well, different culture.

Taiwan Trip

2011-09-20T00:04:00.000+08:00

As you know, I went Taiwan on my first week of school. And i totally regret it. Missed out on so many stuff.But what the hell, I had fun there, so fuck regrets. Went to two main areas, Taipei and Taichung. Didn't spend much time in Taichung though, they said there wasn't much there to do. But the views were... SPECTAULAR. I love the mountainous views and the air there. But I hate, HATE the journey up. I think we spend about 2k plus in total? I prefer shopping in Bangkok compared to Taiwan. But the food... its heavenly. They have almost everything. If I've put on weight, its because of taiwan. lol. Anyway, i'll post the details of the trip some other time!

While waiting for boarding.

First meal.

KFC's 3 flavored egg tart!

Up the mountains

I forgot to buy one. :(

Cabin stay!

BEST CORN EVER.

Thanks to my lovely cousin for lending me her awesomest new canon.
THANK YOU STEPHAINE CHEN MEI YAN. lol

Best bubble tea, wins koi and gongcha hands down.

Wild boar meat. its damn fucking nice.

otw home :(

a little too little

2011-08-27T10:56:00.002+08:00

There's so many things I wanna do before I'm 'old'
So many things that I'm afraid I wouldn't have enough time to do it all.
I always say 'dont think, just do only'. But there's so many things that are holding me back.
And so many people who Ive gotta ask 'permissions' first before I could do this, and that.
Fuck, I hate this. I want to do things that when I'm older I cant. okay.. Not exactly can't... but like... 'Not appropriate' for 'older people'. Ahhhhhhhhhh, fml.

Date

2011-08-02T13:50:00.002+08:00

I havent been on a date for the longest time. So Sunday was kinda special.
A lazy Sunday date. Idk how I dragged the time, from 3 till.. 5?
Didn't really go anywhere. Took a cab down to Bugis because i wanted to get stuff from Nike.
Walked around, had dinner and iluma, the place where I lost my phone. lol.
And we went to the arcade, so typical ah. But I havent been to the arcade ever since last year. :( lol. Its not that long ago but still, the joy from going the arcade brings me back to when I was much younger. Didnt take much pictures though. Rushed down to parkway, to get the enlargement done. I really wanna pierceeeeeeee. lol.

You know what, I really enjoy going on short rides with you.
Buying takeaways, rushing for tangyuan, kick starting your stupid "pornstar". <3

Aquarius

2011-07-14T01:25:00.002+08:00

Aquarius Woman.
If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very
happy or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own
matters similar to a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by
herself without any guy in her life, a very strong person indeed.

Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find
such person, so what. Because she thinks she could do anything that a
man can do. She is a leader , a real confident type.

She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening
the door herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a
waste of time, and she is not patient enough to wait around for that.
If she starts to ask you out, do not think she starts to flirt with
you, but because she thinks it is a waste of time to wait for you to
be the one who asked.

She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he
has a chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her
man’s reaction, but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting
her. She is a daring type who could just do thing differently from
other people in her same society. She dare to fight for what she
thinks belonged to her.

Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she
breaks up with someone , she won’t show any emotion even deep down
inside pain and agony. Not for long she will come back to be the
cheery and merry person again, because she looks at the world
positively and has “Faith” in the word “Love”.

She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous
type if you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates
jealous guy. She loves “Freedom” so before and after marriage , her
freedom has to be the same. She likes you to trust her, even if she
does not trust you anyhow.

She likes to be the one who is “Right”, so if you argue with her ,
let her win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a
straight forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will
just tell you straight to your face. Her love and relationship are
always real, so if she say “It’s over” be prepare to leave, she is
not testing you.

She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she
will survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she
will certainly take care and look after you, even look after you mean
“small loan”. Do not have secret with her, she hates it and really can
piss her badly. When she is sad , be understanding. When she is
happy, be happy with her, she likes that.

You will not get bore with this type of girl. Someone who is close to
her will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted
person, she is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and
talkative person and she likes to tease you. Do not let she talk
alone, if you do she will leave.

She has many type of jobs because she beliefs what a man can do, I
can do. If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in
love, she will just leave her job in the day time just to come to see
you, but not for long she will go back to work seriously again.
Prepare to live and love with a “Working Woman” then you will be OK.

If she mad, find a shelter for the “Hurricane” is here! Her bad
temper will last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and
will not think of “pay Back” time. Most people might think of her as
“One of a guy”, but in fact she is a 100% woman. She is easily hurt,
so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky
because she is an honest, truthful and will never bored you.
Understand that sometimes she will be over confident and sometimes
like to have power or act bossy.

__________________________________________________

Aquarians basically possess strong and attractive personalities. They fall into two principle types: one shy, sensitive, gentle and patient; the other exuberant, lively and exhibitionist, sometimes hiding the considerable depths of their character under a cloak of frivolity. Both types are strong willed and forceful in their different ways and have strong convictions, though as they seek truth above all things, they are usually honest enough to change their opinions, however firmly held, if evidence comes to light which persuades them that they have been mistaken. They have a breadth of vision that brings diverse factors into a whole, and can see both sides of an argument without shilly-shallying as to which side to take. Consequently they are unprejudiced and tolerant of other points of view. This is because they can see the validity of the argument, even if they do not accept it themselves. They obey the Quaker exhortation to "Be open to truth, from whatever source it comes," and are prepared to learn from everyone.

Both types are humane, frank, serious minded, genial, refined, sometimes ethereal, and idealistic, though this last quality is tempered with a sensible practicality. They are quick, active and persevering without being self-assertive, and express themselves with reason, moderation and sometimes, a dry humor.

They are nearly always intelligent, concise, clear and logical. Many are strongly imaginative and psychically intuitive, so that the Age of Aquarius, which is about to begin, is much anticipated by psychic circles as an age in which mankind will experience a great spiritual awakening. The Aquarian philosophical and spiritual bent may be dangerous in that it can drive the subjects into an ivory-tower existence where they meditate on abstractions that bear little relevance to life. On the other hand it can help the many who have scientific leanings to combine these with the Aquarian yearning for the universal recognition of the brotherhood of man, and to embark on scientific research to fulfill their philanthropic ideals of benefiting mankind. When some cause or work of this nature inspires them, they are capable of such devotion to it that they may drive themselves to the point of exhaustion and even risk injuring their health.

Both types need to retire from the world at times and to become temporary loners. They appreciate opportunities for meditation or, if they are religious, of retreats. Even in company they are fiercely independent, refusing to follow the crowd. They dislike interference by others, however helpfully intended, and will accept it only on their own terms. Normally they have good taste in drama, music and art, and are also gifted in the arts, especially drama.

In spite of the often intensely magnetic, forthcoming and open personality of the more extrovert kind of Aquarian, and of their desire to help humanity, neither type makes friends easily. They sometimes appear to condescend to others and take too little trouble to cultivate the acquaintance of people who do not particularly appeal to them.They do not give themselves easily - perhaps their judgment of human nature is too good for that - and are sometimes accounted cold. But once they decide that someone is worthy of their friendship or love, they can exert an almost hypnotic and irresistible mental attraction on them and will themselves become tenacious friends or lovers, ready to sacrifice everything for their partners and be faithful to them for life. However, they are sometimes disappointed emotionally because their own high personal ideals cause them to demand more of others than is reasonable. And if they are deceived their anger is terrible. If disillusioned, they do not forgive.

Aquarians work best in group projects, provided that they are recognized as having a leading part in them. They have a feeling of unity with nature and a desire for knowledge and truth that makes them admirable scientists, especially astronomers and natural historians. They may excel in photography, radiography, electronics - anything connected with the electrical and radio industries - aviation and everything technical. On the arts and humanities side their progressive tendencies can be expressed in writing, especially poetry, and broadcasting, or as welfare workers and teachers. Some have gifts as entertainers and make good character actors (having an ability to mimic) and musicians. The more psychic among them possess healing gifts, especially in curing the mentally sick.

Among the faults to which they are liable are fanatical eccentricity, wayward egotism, excessive detachment and an inclination to retreat from life and society, and a tendency to be extremely dogmatic in their opinions. Aquarians can be a threat to all they survey or a great boon for humanity in general. Circumstances - for example, continuous opposition to a cause they hold dear - may cause the atrophy of the openness of mind that is one of the Aquarian's most attractive traits. They may express a lack of integrity in broken promises, secretiveness or cunning. Simmering anger and resentment, rudeness or, worse, a tense, threatening silence which may suddenly burst out in eruptions of extreme temper, these are all part of the negative side of the Aquarian. This can also reveal itself in a sustained hatred for enemies that is capable of enlarging itself into a misanthropy toward the whole of mankind.

Father's day.

2011-06-20T02:38:00.004+08:00

This year's father's day is... different. Its the first year without grams. :(
I use to always look forward to celebrate father's day, mother's day with the family but this year.. this year, every thing is so different.

There wasn't any dinner or cards or.. whatever. Father's day used to be so much fun where the whole family would head out and eat, shop.. I miss those times.

:((((

I ~~fucking~~ miss my grandfather. ~~fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.~~

Ben's Wedding II.

2011-06-16T16:11:00.003+08:00

With the Groom.

My make-up of the day. Lol. i think its the nicest ever.
but everyone says no diff.
EH I SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON IT LEH.

The mess.

Ben's Wedding.

2011-06-13T00:54:00.001+08:00

Congrats Bestie!

Leaving

2011-06-12T03:52:00.001+08:00

Some times, the thought of leaving excites me. And this scares me.

All men were Nazis

2011-05-03T04:21:00.000+08:00

As often has Herman had witnessed the slaughter of animals and fish, he always had the same thought: In their behavior toward creatures, all men were Nazis. The smugness with which man could do with other species as he pleased exemplify the most extreme racist theories, the principle that might is right. -Earthling

Do what you want and fuck the rest.

2011-04-29T03:21:00.003+08:00

‎"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life." — John Lennon

Nothing else matters as long as youre doing what you want, what you love. Even if the whole world tell you otherwise, stick to what you believe, stay firm. Because at the end of the day, youll prove them wrong, youll shine, youll show them that they were wrong, and that they had no right to put you down.

2011-04-24T19:16:00.001+08:00

Oh well, i guess its because we aint cool enough for you.

Bus Driver

2011-04-16T03:29:00.004+08:00

A friend of mine was telling me...

They say life is a journey,
Well, life is indeed a journey, and everyone is a bus driver.
People hop on and eventually they get off.
Some will try to stay as long as they can but no one stays forever.

This got me thinking a lot. And as much as I hate to admit it, its true.

Friends aint always gonna be there. 10 years down the road, do you think youll still be hanging out with people youre with? Do you think that youll still be on the phone with the person youre talking to right now? People that you go school with, you think youll still contact them when you grad?

I think about my group of friends, i think about us in the future, i think about how we might all become strangers one day and it fucking saddens me. I dont want things to change, i hate change. But we all know that it is inevitable. Even right now, not all of us are that close anymore, we start hanging out with school friends, other friends. We dont hang out every weekend, we dont chill as and when we can anymore. We all have different path, all have different likings, we all want different things. I wonder just how long it take for the group to dispers. I wonder how long some would stay. I wonder who would stay.

Would you stay?

i miss you

2011-04-05T22:34:00.002+08:00

We used to be so close. But somehow, things changed, we changed. Ever since we drifted and its like you totally forgot about me, I've been trying my best to do the same, to forget you. It isn't easy and every time I see you, i think about us, what we were. How far we have drifted and how much you no longer need me in your life. Every time i look at you my heart breaks - over and over again.

Afraid

2011-04-04T22:25:00.002+08:00

You know how I see people getting married around me?
Whether they are my around my age or older?

yea well, marriage isnt always that blissful.

Challenge

2011-04-04T10:39:00.002+08:00

Day 01 – Presentation of myself
Day 02 – My first love
Day 03 – My parents
Day 04 – What kind of food do I cook?
Day 05 – What is love?
Day 06 – If this was my last day…
Day 07 – Friends
Day 08 – Favorite things
Day 09 – My beliefs or philosophy
Day10 – Favorite blogs
Day 11 – My siblings
Day 12 – 10 things you didn’t know about me
Day 13 – A regular day in my home
Day 14 – Bad habits and burdens
Day 15 – My dreams
Day 16 – First kiss
Day 17 – Childhood memory
Day 18 – An embarrassing moment
Day 19 – I regret this
Day 20 – My role models
Day 21 – My bad sides
Day 22 – Things that upset me
Day 23 – My home
Day 24 – Things that makes me cry
Day 25 – Things I’m good at
Day 26 – My fears
Day 27 – My favorite place
Day 28 – Things I miss
Day 29 – This is what I want to do when I grow up
Day 30 – 10 deadly sins

I wanted to do this on the start of the month but I was away, diving.
Diving was awesome. I had fun even though it was goddam tiring.
Post pictures soon!

2011-03-21T18:12:00.003+08:00

I havent been writing for the longest time.
I miss writing.

Help Japan

2011-03-12T02:54:00.001+08:00

Give what you can, every cent helps.
http://www.globalgiving.org/projects/japan-earthquake-tsunami-relief/?rf=twtr

#helpjapan #prayforjapan

Before you go

2011-03-07T06:04:00.004+08:00

Its 6:04 in the morning and we're watching jackass3D, again. Baby's gonna leave for camp in about 2 :(( And its another 5 more days. :/

This week is filled with presentations. Argh, 113's on Thursday and I still have no freaking idea what to to present on. I dislike such where you are able to choose anything you wanna present on. At least 334, we are given choices and is a group presentation, and presentation for 334 has always been a breeze. LOL.

Not a fan of presentation, never will.
I rather do a ~~10 page research paper~~ or run and hide in a corner.

Good~~night~~Morning baby!

I have not left

2011-02-25T02:58:00.001+08:00

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep. I am in a thousand winds that blow, I am the softly falling snow. I am the gentle showers of rain, I am the fields of ripening grain. I am in the morning hush, I am in the graceful rush Of beautiful birds in circling flight, I am the starshine of the night. I am in the flowers that bloom, I am in a quiet room. I am in the birds that sing, I am in each lovely thing. Do not stand at my grave bereft I am not there. I have not left.

Mary Elizabeth Frye

You're still alive.

Tears in heaven

2011-02-17T20:06:00.004+08:00

When the song was played during presentation, I teared up.
I miss you, ahyeh. I really do. Life has been so different without you.
When I see granddads holding on to those tiny fingers of their grandchild, I cant help but think of you. Thinking that I would never get the chance to see you again, to hold your hand again.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

(instrumental)

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

And yes, I miss you too, bapok. More than you'll ever know.

hate being close

2011-02-17T19:49:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I hate being friends with you.I hate being close to you.
Every time when something 'bad' is referred to you, you push the fucking blame on to me.
If it's my fault, I gladly take the blame. But every shit you do, you tell people "no lor, it's Cheryln", and well, those dumb fuck ass might have actually believed you. I tell myself, what others may think doesn't really matter. Those who know me, those who matter, would know better. But sometimes when it gets a bit over, I can't help but think and wonder. I am just as alive, just as human as you are.

Ive said this before and I'll say it again,

You play your role fucking well, just make sure when you think the curtains are close, when you think nobody's watching, think again. Don't let the cat out of the bag.

The start

2011-02-08T20:07:00.007+08:00

More than a month has passed since I last posted. Just a brief summary of what has been happening.

January
Gave Kheesen a surprise birthday, which FAILED. lol
Game Master for Spring orientation,
Did facial, finally.
BBQ with the UB peeps
Our 67th Month
Went for CSI: The Experience with Enya at science center.
Malaysia with Auyang, WeiHong and baby on bikes
IceCream with the girls
Bikram aloneee. :(
Enya birthday surprise dinner.
Glee S1,S2, Ghost Whisper S1,S2,S3,S4,S5, Bones S1,S2,S3,S4,S5

And well, happy CNY!
Reunion dinner at love's grandma's
Gambled at Kok's, Don's, baby's and Ivan's
Dinner with the group at teppanyaki
NewYorkNewYork with love.
Movie with Boey - Triangle? SMLJ.
That's that!

2010

2010-12-29T01:48:00.010+08:00

2 more days till we say good bye to 2010.
I can't really recall much joy about this year.
I've lost too many things to say its a good year.

I lost my dearly beloved grandfather, a close friend whom I could have did so much things together and my iPhone. I still can't get over the fact that they are gone. I pin up pictures of you two on my board, so that I would never forget you, that you would always remain a part of me.

On a brighter note, this year I've been overseas with my friends thrice. Yay! A trip to Bintan and 2 trips to Bangkok. Come to think of it, I haven't yet posted pictures or summaries of the trips. I dont like it that I have to slowly upload 5 picture at a time, and if the file is big, I've gotta stone for like 5 minutes or more before I can upload more. But I guess, uploading a few wouldn't kill eh.

School has been so so. I miss Loyang so much. I miss all the fun and laughter and the nagging of teachers. Oh, how I miss the teachers, and even more the nonsense, I miss my Loyang mates most. I think its really time for me to buck up and start studying, I've been slacking way too much. I don't really like it, yet I'm so fucking lazy to do shit. I hate this.

MAKE NEXT YEAR A BETTER ONE.

I think I've spend about a XXXX or more on Personal Trainer. I wouldn't say it was a waste of money but it really was something different. Like there was this constant person who would make a fuss about whatever I eat and insist that I do cardio at least 2 times excluding training. Talking about training, I miss playing contact rug. :( Hopefully I get to play next year!

Halloween was 'celebrated' at night's safari with the group and at taboo. While X'mas was at baby's house. We had massive steamboat and movie.
The new year's resolution has been made a week or so back with baby. Let's all work together and achieve our resolution!

BINTAN TRIP

BANGKOK #1

BANGKOK TRIP #2

Your call

2010-12-20T19:17:00.004+08:00

I woke up in tears, I dream that you called.
We spoke for like 2 hours and after which I called your mother to see if its true, that you were alive. Even in my dreams, the fact remains. You're gone. Till now, I would still feel like.. Like all this is fake, like it was a scam, a bluff. And that you're just a freaking phone call away? You know how I never fail to think about you and my ahyeh everyday? Or when at places that we had been before, how I told everyone that we used to come here for whatever reasons? You know how much I wish I could to talk to you? Call me will you? Please? I want to talk to you.

Twenty years

2010-12-15T00:12:00.002+08:00

Twenty years from now...

Will do

2010-12-10T02:20:00.004+08:00

WILL DO A PROPER UPDATE ONCE MY EXAMS ARE OVER!
A SUMMARY OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPEN THIS YEAR.

BTW, I LOST MY iPHONE, COULD THE PERSON WHO HAVE FOUND IT, RETURN IT TO ME PLEASE? :( I think I misplace it somewhere in illuma, please? Anyone?

Human Exprience

2010-12-06T00:59:00.003+08:00

Did we forget what it means to be human?
The world did, everyone did.

Wanderlust

2010-12-01T22:08:00.008+08:00

wanderlust (n) : a strong desire or urge to discover & explore the world.

I need to travel, to explore, to discover, to see the world.

Im back from Bangkok, but I didnt get to do much thinking, there wasn't much time. I dont know what to say, I can't think of words to express my thoughts. This isn't good, I don't like it when I can't think properly.

Find a way.

2010-11-11T18:47:00.001+08:00

Do you know that I still think about you?
Even though I know that it's too late.
Do you know that I'm still missing you?
Especially right now you're far away.
There's no need to for you to tell me that; "I'm sorry",
There's no need for you to tell me that I'm sorry,
I said I'm sorry, I said I'm sorry...

I've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind
I've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking of you
I've got to find a way to stop you falling into my mind
I've got to find a way to keep myself from thinking..

What's the point?

2010-11-04T00:14:00.004+08:00

No one deserve death.
No one deserve to die.

Those who know nuts, should stfu.

Darren has passed on, the least anyone could do is to show respect to him and his family. Should you have nothing nice to say, dont speak a word.
Those that did it would have to face the music, regardless of who was in the right or wrong. Someone died, and the law 'demands' that someone pays.

For everything that happened, there's always two sides to it.
Many different perspective depending on how you view it.

For such a case, both side are at fault.
Let's say, according to the media, that it was Darren or whoever within his group to stare at the other, and that he taunted them, agitated them, does that give them the right to take away his life? To hurt his family this way? Is life that meaningless to them? To see his young life get thrown away like this...

He had a bright future, he was a smart boy with a flair in English, a flair in Literature. When he made his mind to study, he went all the way. He shouldn't have just left like this, too abrupt, too soon.

As for the other side, if what the media portrays is true than you guys are rather petty eh? No doubt you wouldnt like it when people stare at you, but to go to the extreme to use weapons, to kill him, to murder him... I've got nothing to say, nothing to defend.

One is more than enough.
I would rather they get a sentence for 'prison for life'. Their families are innocent. But then again, who am I to say such thing? I dont have the right to speak for anything.

I've lost a dear friend who changed my life, but Uncle Francis lost a son, a baby boy whom he and aunty brought up together. To feel the agony of not having to attend his 21st, his NS POP, his graduation, his wedding.. To feel the agony of having to send his only son on his last journey... That's a pain no one can understand, no one would know.

Lastly, I fucking dislike Singapore's media.

Shout to the lord

2010-11-03T23:17:00.005+08:00

This song, this song Darren.
This, it holds so much memories for us.
How we went to church together, all the fun, joy and laughter.
How we would constantly make fun of each other.
Every memory of you, I'm trying to hold it close.
Keeping you alive in my heart, in our hearts.

Please give your parents, sister, relatives, gf and friends the strength to move on.

You may not be the best person, but you're a great friend despite it all.

I miss you, Darren.

2010-11-02T01:01:00.000+08:00

I havent fully gotten over one death and the next one had to come this soon.

A wonderful friend

2010-11-02T00:38:00.000+08:00

Rest in peace, Darren

2010-10-31T17:53:00.006+08:00

You know how funny it seems?
How life can just.. Just be gone like that.

When I first know about the matter, I was stunt. I thought that it was some nonsense prank, some kind of joke or something. It has never cross my mind that its real. Until, I was proven otherwise.

You were one of my first few best boy friends, the one who I could talk to about almost everything. And well, I told you almost everything. We would gossip and talk to late where you would lie and tell me that you'll call me back but you went to sleep. Argh. And I would wait till i fall asleep. I remember us talking about everything under the sun, about God, about death, about life. Even about Naruto and the like, Darren, do you still watch it? Still keeping up with the episodes? I remember you proclaiming about where your 'historical spot'. Heading over to your place, to the condo beside, to swim, to play all the weird and stupid games. Staying over, playing boxing... You punching my head with the stupid gloves. Making fun of your teeth, you telling your dad youre with me where you were out monkeying around. Our first underage party together. How when we just knew each other, you brought me to riverlife and told ** I was your girlfriend, You thought I wouldnt find out? lol. I recall us playing truant together, you remember? Where we ran out of that small hole at the fence? And got into a cab right after? Those were the days, those carefree days.

As years went on, I got attach and so did you, we drifted. But nevertheless, we remain close. We had our camping trips at Pasir Ris park, played car park catching, bowling, movies, we did them almost every weekend, what happened? Why did we stop? What changed?

Recently, just two we had some bad blood going on, but I'm glad we cleared things up. I'm glad we didn't leave things as it is. You told me that if I needed someone to talk to, you would be there and that youre just a phone call away. We were suppose to meet up soon, what happen to that? I dont want us to meet like that. Darren, I want to talk to you now. I need to talk to you now. Pick up your phone. Talk to me please?

2010-10-23T22:54:00.003+08:00

You always talk like I dont try, I dont give a damn.
You make me look like the fucked up one.
The one that is the cause of this happening.
Have you ever told those no brain ass friends of yours the whole story?
Did you tell them how I tried but you just didnt feel like reciprocating?
Did you tell them how you werent there at my lowest?
Did you tell them how you spilled everything that Ive told you?
Well, I doubt so.
You dont tell anyone the whole truth.
You just tell what you want them to hear.
I hit the nerve, didnt I?

I had enough of people coming to me, telling me what a fucked up friend
And all the fuck shit.
I admit I can be cb, but I have my reasons.
And you know about it, but did you do shit?
No. You misuse my trust, and you expect me to just forgive and forget about everything?
Sorry, even though Ive forgiven, I'll never forget.
And at the rate things are going,
I dont see how we're gonna be okay.

away

2010-10-11T01:51:00.001+08:00

I wanna take a few days off, go to some where just to have fun and relax.
Not with a lot of people, just with 1,2,3 other?

fucked

2010-10-06T15:40:00.002+08:00

I think this is pathetic, it really is.
I have no idea how it had came to be such.
But right now, I just feel fucked.
Everything you said or did has been fucking bullshit.
I seriously dont understand why I'm tolerating you.
Thanks ah.

old man

2010-10-03T17:20:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday Daddy!
You bring me endless nagging, trying to make 'weird sex' talk (eeeww), giving me stupid lame newspaper cuttings that I cant be bothered with, but you bring me the best joy, the best love, the best of anything anyone could ever wish for. Thank you Dad, for bringing me to this world, for taking care of me, for everything that you've done with your best, for me, for us.

I love you! Enjoy, old man.

lost

2010-10-03T16:49:00.003+08:00

Youre the only person that could make talking on msn seem like we're on the phone.
Where we argued who to sign off first, going on about it for hours. When it really started to get late, we would bid goodbye and still stay on the comp waiting for each other to start saying nonsense again and the cycle continues. oh boy, just thinking of it is enough to make me laugh.

You were the next closest thing to me. The one that would never leave me alone, irritating me like fuck. The one that would always come for me when I'm alone, be it on the phone or rushing down. The one that would go the extra mile when I needed something/someone.

We dont talk much about how we feel, but there was an understanding between us. We dont really need words to express how we feel, it was just something there.

But.. But..

Things would never be the same again would it?

Just so you know, you've played a big part.
Thank you for everything, thank you for making me see things I havent been seeing.
Thank you for being there, always listening, never judging.
Thank you for supporting me, most of the way.
Thank you for being you, for simply just existing.

no fun

2010-10-02T17:03:00.001+08:00

School hasnt been fun like before.
I dont want to say much but that's how I feel.
Sometimes I no longer enjoy going to school.
Its weird isnt it? school used to be a place I loved the most.

It seems that this year a lot has changed.
this year, i lost a lot of things.
But losing means making way for new right?
Hopefully.

They say what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
so, in my case,
Losing you(s) didnt kill me, it only make me stronger.
You know, Im hoping that at least that much is true.

You think

2010-09-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

You think you're not pretty, someone is wishing to be as pretty as you. You want more money, people are in poverty. You want a boyfriend, someone doesn't even have parents. You're hungry, a child is starving. You want to go to the mall, someone is looking for anything to wear just to stay warm. You're chilly, others are frozen. You just want to die, most people are striving to live. So don't waste your time on things that you think you don't have, because there is always someone out there who needs what you have.

2010-09-17T20:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Yehyeh!
I love you.

Sarah, you too.

2010-09-06T12:25:00.000+08:00

2 weeks without you.

Everyone is slowly adapting to life without you.
But there is no doubt that everyone still misses you dearly.

2010-09-03T00:24:00.004+08:00

My grandmother told me

"

your ahyeh wanted to see you graduate. Too bad he didn't have the life to see it. You know, he even ask me 'old woman, if Wei Lin wants to go over and graduate, you wanna go?'

"

My heart broke and I wanted to cry so badly.

You'll still be able to see from where you are right now. Just like how you have been watching over us.

For you

2010-09-02T22:42:00.001+08:00

I thought of you but I didnt tear.
I held back because I know you wouldnt want me to.

I miss you. :((

2010-08-30T13:52:00.000+08:00

Hi. It has been a week now.

2010-08-28T20:54:00.003+08:00

A person never truly dies, as long as they continue to live on in our hearts.

Yes, you do, you will, you always will.

2010-08-27T20:51:00.000+08:00

For a moment I thought you were getting well.
You were smiling and had the strength to sit up.
You talked, laugh and even complained.

But this is life isnt it?
We all have to go through this sooner or later.
I just wish it wasnt this soon.
I love you, and I miss you dearly yehyeh.

2010-08-26T13:58:00.002+08:00

At the wake, I saw who my friends were.
Who I should keep close to heart.
Thank you Bakhtiar, Ryan for staying up on certain days to be there.
And especially Kokhao and Wilson, thank you for coming everyday, for accompanying me till the sun was up, staying with me, making sure I was okay.

Thank you.

The rest? fuck yourselves. LOL

I didnt tell much people, because I dont want people to see the emo side of me. So for those who didnt know, but wished they did, thank you.

2010-08-25T10:21:00.002+08:00

I held his hand as life slowly slip pass him.
I miss you. I really do.

2010-08-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

I think I'm gonna change my blog.
This account is messed up. And there's a mother fucker who's messing around with my accounts.
If I ever find out who the fuck, youre gonna get it.

2010-08-19T16:54:00.001+08:00

Get well

2010-08-17T01:13:00.006+08:00

You were always there to protect me, always.
Like my very own guardian angel, watching over me.

You took the trouble to wake up early in the morning to wake me up for school, make me breakfast, walk with me to school to make sure i cross the road safely.
In the evening or afternoon, you would wait for me at the school's back gate even if it took you hours, just to help me carry my overloaded school bag.
Even when I thought I didnt need you anymore.
You still stayed and protect me from behind.
And continued doing countless of things for me.
Most importantly, you still cared for me even when I was rebellious.
You talked to my 'friends' and make sure they dont do anything funny or the like.
Scolded them because they were misleading me.
Stayed with me through my cases.
Whenever it comes to an argument, be it with you or with someone else.
You would always let me win, always siding me.
When it comes to money, you were never stingy with me.
You gave me more than them, for almost every occasion.
When we played mahjong, I loved sitting under you cause you would give me good cards to eat.
And when I lost, you would take your winnings and share it with me.
You were so strong, I never this day would come, so soon.

You dont say much, but I know you care just as much as a father would.

I remember when I was younger, much younger.
I asked if you, 'what if i had a boyfriend?' and you replied 'i would whack him'
I smiled at that answer, but I couldnt remember why.
Maybe its because I felt that you will protect me from everything possible.
I remember when you went overseas and I dreamed that you passed on.
I cried and cried till you came back home, I remember going to you and hugging you tightly.
But I wouldnt tell you why, despite how you ask. I didnt want it to come true, I didnt want you to hear about it and felt sad.
I remember us watching WWE in the middle of the night and getting scolded for it.
I remember you going overseas and buying branded stuff for me just because I like them.

I remember when you first came back from hospital, you lost so much weight.
So much that I almost couldnt recognize you at times.
And I hate that, I hate that I couldnt recognize you, I hate myself for allowing such.
Do you know how much I would give just to see you, like you were before?
I would give anything. Everything.

Right now, youre lying there in pain and there's nothing I can do to help you.
There's nothing I can do that will make you feel better, to take the pain away.

Do you how much I want to hug you when I see you, before today?
I want to, so much. But I didnt. I dont know why. I just didnt.
And now, I hate myself. I should have done it when you had the strength.
Dont let it be too late. Please...

I'm praying and wishing for a miracle, because I believe it exist.
There's so many things you have yet to see me accomplish.
You cant go just like that, you cant...
You have yet to sit the car I drive, to see me graduate, spend the money I earn, travel around the world with me sponsoring for everything, see me make it big, watch me get married and see my children.

Have you thought about what it would be like with you gone?
Have you spare a thought for us?
I know I'm selfish but I just cant bear to see you go like this.
To see you go before Ive done anything.
To see you go before we graduate.
To see you go like this, instead of how I imagined, how I thought.
I want you, the two of you to be in my life till I'm older, till I'm ready to let either of you go.

Would you let me have the chance to show you?
Would you stay and let me be the one protecting you, instead?

You cant go yet, at least not now.
Please?

http://angcheryln.blogspot.com/2010/08/yehyeh.html?zx=cd820127e2679409

removing

2010-08-12T21:09:00.004+08:00

I'm removing formspring soon. So ask me all you want now.
http://formspring.me/lynlynlynzx

I AM MAD TIRED. KOH LITING, ALL YOUR FAULT. LOL.
ANYWAY, I HAD FUN WITH YOU TODAY!

love/hate

2010-08-12T00:06:00.002+08:00

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

Nelson Mandela

Weekly

2010-08-07T23:19:00.002+08:00

It seems like I'm blogging every week. Hmm.

So anyway, school's out and it time for me to have fun.

Not really though, I might be going for internship at IMH or some forensic thingy.

But that's if I get through it. Philosophy was a disappointment because I so wanted to do better. Serious, I mean I enjoyed studying for it, I enjoyed the whole thing. Sigh. Maybe I didnt study before hand that's why. Okay, forget about it. Nuff with school stuff and all.

Nothing really happen. It's exam week, how fun you want it to be? School, studying, midnight oil, that's about it? Oh, I went to do mani, got my sunkiss yellow. But it got ruin, thanks itchy hand. And it was my first time doing it with such short nails. Had dinner with Wilson, Bak, Yang and Angela on a certain day of the week. Havent been going for flute. Argh. CHERYLN, WTF?

Went to town today to get some stuff, crowd max. Upload pictures soon, I'm currently at Bak's house with the 3 of them playing 2k10. NO LIFERS.

Holiday plans:

- Skateboarding

- Guitar

- Watch one piece movies

- Watch supernatural

TBC!

love

2010-08-03T01:10:00.001+08:00

Cinderella walked on broken glass. Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass. Belle fell in love with a hideous beast. Jasmine married a common thief. Ariel walked on land for love and life. Snow White barely escaped a knife. It was all about blood, sweat, and tears, because love, means facing your biggest fears.

Brief

2010-08-02T00:29:00.008+08:00

So it has been a week since Ive posted.
I cant exactly remember everything that happened. Thus, a brief summary!

Yang attended biopsy lecture with me and he almost died.
Wilson got his iPhone, finally, after making us wait for 7 long hours for someone to agree to sign line for him. Thankyou Justine, if only you picked up the phone earlier, I would have loved you more. lol. oh, I meant Tiantian.
Went ECP for dinner/supper with co.
Went to play DotA and etc after so many 34436534 months.
No tauhuay this week. :(
Bak drove baby back to came. And I had fun being in the car.
I tried to park with a wish and I suck, big time.
Gambling is the root of evil. lol
Had smelly tofu, I swear, it stinks. I almost died.
I ate duck rice this week, twice.
Granddad got hospitalize again. Please get well. Please.
Hanged out with Zhang and Lara, just for breakfast. Hmm. Btw, thank you jy, for everything♡
I just realize that there's a cute guy in my block and I cant believe I have never seen him before.
I was left alone. Fuck you meh.
Had starbucks with Baby and 2 lightbulbs. LOL
Finals are next week, please start studying. PLEASE.
Met Siyun, after so long. Hi. lol
Internship at IMH? Should I?
Angela cut Enen's hair, yuck.
HappyBirthday Shu!

Went for YOG on friday, the rehearsal thingy. I swear, it is crap.
It doesnt mean that just because there's the word 'Youth' there, you create everything meant for kids age 5 and below? Hello? The whole world is watching. I'm talking about the animation, the graphic. Okay, I know nothing about it, so I should just stfu but hey, even okto's 'short film' are somewhat better? Argh, we wasted like.. 3 hours? I couldnt bear to watch it till the end. So we left. Anyway, applause for those who participated, your hard work and all. I hope it turns out better, since we went for the rehearsal and not the real thing. Hopefully.

Ive created formspring, I dont know how long I'll keep it. Probably delete it within a week or two. So hit me with your best shot. Http://formspring.me/lynlynlynzx
I added the ZX behind because some loser went to use my nick. ARGH. LOL.

My biggest worry has always been you. Yes, you.
But seeing how well you're doing, puts me at ease.

strong

2010-07-25T19:27:00.000+08:00

A love so strong, it can conquer all.

Be nice

2010-07-21T23:24:00.005+08:00

I think I sorta believe in the phrase, 人在做,天在看.
Its like whatever you're doing, it will all just come back to you -karma.
I never really believed in karma, because the good things tht you do, dont come back to you. Whereas all the shit you do, does. But perhaps, because we're wired to take more notice of negative stuff that's why we dont see the good that happens to us back. Hmm, maybe, probably.

Anyway, what happen was I did something bad. Its not considered bad lah, more of... How do I explain this.. I sorta damage something that was suppose to be mine but wasnt. after damaging it, I was told that it was mine! AHHHHH. LOL, I guess that's lesson well learned eh? So anyway, FTW. Seriously, fuck the world and fuck myself.

I'm gonna be good and nice. *Pinkie promise

By right, every Wednesday is NO MEAT DAY. But my stupid fuckhead friends always psycho me to take meat. Argh. Okay, Thursday is no meat day for THIS week and only THIS.
Wait, going no meat is to help save the Earth and doing my part. (Sorta got influence by 10 things I hate about you and the stupid commercial that has been airing in every taxi with tv.) Its healthy too, no? So I'm killing 2 birds with one stone, smart.

After school Elaine drop me and Enya off at a certain busstop. Thankyou babe! Proceeded meeting Bak, Yang and Angela with enen, I had mad fun. AND THAT ANGELA WANNA DEPRIVE ME OF THAT FUN WITH ENEN. FUCK LEH. We didnt make it in time for Bobbi. :(

Sometimes, I think of friends, I dont know what to say. I really dont.
Anyway, time to study! One hour :) I hope I make it. lol

Move on

2010-07-13T02:33:00.002+08:00

Stop saying 'What if', the fact is that it didnt happened.
And what happen happened.
Either you work on it, or move the fuck on.

Sweetest

2010-07-13T01:49:00.002+08:00

Awww, total sweetness.

him: what do you want me to say? what can I say?
her: just how you are, how you feel
him: well I'm very happy, truly happy to be honest, I think we deserved it from start to finish and I'd just like to thank the people who have always supported me, my parents, my brother...
*silence, sighs
her: it's ok, let's talk a bit about then game and...
him: no, my friends and you *smooch*. I'm going.
her: zomg

ESP; SPAIN

2010-07-12T19:31:00.000+08:00

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Sum up!

2010-07-11T23:47:00.004+08:00

Went for Breakfast at KFC with baby, after which Kok called and went for round 2 at Changi. We had dim sum, it has been forever since we had them. Went to baby's place and played with Chervonne, celebrated his Dad's birthday and back to camp. Granddad's ill again, down with fever. Argh. Please get well! Darren went to Taiwan, with Christine and friends, and I'm freaking envying him. Humpf. You better buy me stuff man. Have fun and take care of yourself! I spend a bomb on shopping this 2 months, idk why. No more spending. Save. Bakhtiar's birthday is in 13 minutes, Happy Birthday Old friend! Philo tomorrow and I havent read the readings. Neither have I started studying for Biopsy. ARGH. Good job you. I'm calling Bakhtiar now, and he isnt picking up. WALAO EH! I WANT TO BE THE FIRST LEHZX.

Cant you be yourself? Cant you just be who you are?
Stop it, please. Stop.

SPAIN FTW!
I want my jersey!

World cup

2010-07-09T02:15:00.002+08:00

Spain is pwning asses. As expected, yay!
final match, ftw Spain! Take home the cup!

I'm gonna get my jersey! :B

emo

2010-07-09T00:05:00.001+08:00

I'm sad that one of my favorite anime is over.
FML. lol.
EEEK. S TO P being so emotional leh -.-

SEX-CITED

2010-07-05T13:18:00.003+08:00

I'm freaking happy.
Got a pair of flats that would normally cost $XXX for free.
Cant wait till I get my hands on them. ahhhhhhh.
Good way to start the week, and the add on to that, I got tauhuay for breakfast HAHA. And Baby's here with me.

I WANT.

2010-07-04T19:30:00.001+08:00

http://angcheryln.blogspot.com/2010/07/i-want.html?zx=967e2a93826bae67

longest

2010-07-02T23:34:00.002+08:00

I think I'll remember today for a long time.
Waited for cab for like 24346345hours with Bak.
Wasted time. argh. We could so have been doing other stuff.
I tell you, it was mad killer.
But I had fun <3

:B

2010-07-02T00:27:00.005+08:00

I laugh my ass off today despite being fucking tired.

Waited for Bakhtiar at Starbucks after school, reached home at 0028.
Well done. But I enjoyed myself ttm. lol

Excited

2010-07-01T12:33:00.002+08:00

I cant wait for Friday and Saturday.
Sunday can wait. lol

School this week has been tiring.
SemII has started and its school everyday.
And I just got use of one day school, two days off routine. :(

Biopsy is killer, I swear.

:@@@

2010-06-30T11:52:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I think I let people walk all over me.
ARGH.

:(

2010-06-27T10:41:00.000+08:00

I see this, and my heart breaks a little some more each time.

Around

2010-06-26T23:22:00.003+08:00

I look around and I feel sad.
Tumblr made me even more sad.
I see what is happening.
So do you.
And I dont like it, do you?
But what can I do?
How much can I do?
Not much but at least I'm trying.

One day a week, the whole family together.♥

Sometimes I think the Earth deserves so much more.
It should. After all its our home.

Finally

2010-06-22T20:29:00.003+08:00

Long overdue pictures

Mid terms are over, Granddad's back.
SemTwo is starting, School everyday.

Hypocrite

2010-06-14T00:52:00.002+08:00

Of all the two faces bitch ass, I guess you're the biggest one. You say one thing and do another and yet you think that it's perfectly fine. You bitch about people to me and all the shit that they have done to you. But you fail to realize that you're one of them. You tell me how much you don't like them and yet I see you getting along with them best. Better than anyone else. You make me feel like I should dislike them, that I should feel for you. and you know what, dumb fuck me actually did. And what? You make me feel this way and the next minute you're out having fun with them calling them bfffffffff,real friends, etcetc. omg, I dont know what to say anymore. You feel like we're drifting? Well, I'll tell you damn right we are. I can't tolerate you or your shit crap bitching anymore. And, you probably won't think this post's about you, since you're always thinking that you're the one every has to like, or perhaps like you called yourself,the 'cool' one.

Enuff

2010-06-08T21:46:00.004+08:00

Okay, Im done with all these emo posts.

Updates on my life,
Ive started flute again. Which means Plaza Sing every week. ahhhhh. The travel.
I'ma gonna turn red, idk when yet.
Tat done as soon as i go red.
yes. Mani soon please.
Luffy cant buffer after 270, argh.
I'm watching supernatural now.
Wait, I should be studying Philosophy. ahhh.
Late night outings on weekends is making my body clock haywire
but that doesnt mean I dont enjoy it :)
Bakhtiar and Weejie are currently overseas, please takecare of yourself.
Overseas trip in Aug!
iPhone 4? :D

too easy

2010-06-08T02:10:00.002+08:00

I always had a problem with trusting, I guess I trust people way too easily.
And this gotta stop.

I dont know what to do now.
When I search, I find out a whole lot of shit.
Right now, even when I dont, things just keep popping up. Thank you.

I dont think I can ever trust you again.
And well, you fucking deserve it.

Ttm

2010-06-06T15:08:00.003+08:00

How much of what you say is true?

just how much of it?
Idk, I doubting everything right now.
But I can't say shit, can I?
Not unless I found the perfect reason.

Keep it in Cheryln.
You can do it.
:((((( ttm

Dad

2010-06-03T03:08:00.004+08:00

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap. When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice. When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back. When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row. When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

:'(

Daddy, I love you and you have always know that. I may shout and scream and yell but i love you from the bottom and deepest part of my heart. This will never ever happen. I will not allow.
Thank you for being a wonderful father. A father, no one could replace.

Couldn't, no matter how I tried

2010-06-02T05:32:00.003+08:00

I think, the worst thing about lying in bed and not able to sleep is when

it's all quiet and things just keep rushing into the mind.
Or what I dread the most, nothing- just a blank mind.

At least when thoughts keep coming in, I can cry myself to sleep or etcetc. But when it's time like these where I can't sleep due to some stupid unknown reason and when the thoughts are not thoughts but a blank sheet. I swear, I wanna kill myself. It's like, how bored can this get. I know I have to sleep but I can't. I keep tossing and turning, tried reading, etcetc but nothing worked.
If I don't sleep anytime soon I have no idea how I'm gonna go out later. Oh yes, I'm going out -.-

okay, I'm going back to trying. Byeeeeee.

If you have

2010-05-28T23:33:00.001+08:00

Disgusted

2010-05-26T13:33:00.004+08:00

I don't know what to feel or how to react when you talk to me or when I see those shit. Seriously, it's like you're telling me one thing and doing another. I feel like slapping you, like give you one really tight slap to make you fucking realize and stop living in denial. Denying it and insisting isn't gonna make things okay, you're making yourself look so desperate and it's fucking disgusting. It's okay if it's just the start but how long has it been? How long more is it gonna continue? It's pathetic, pathetic for me to even look at you.

I've received random emails, 3 asking weird questions and 1 from someone who thinks I should change my friend. LOL.
Oh and btw, the above post isn't revelant to the email I've received.

Start of a messed up sem

2010-05-24T22:16:00.004+08:00

At this age, everything is changing. Day by day we don't notice, but just look back over the past year and you will realize everything has. People you thought were going to be there forever aren't, and people you never imagined you'd be speaking to are now some of your closest friends. Life makes little sense, and the more we grow the less sense it will make. So make the most of now, before it all changes once again, because in the near future, all of this is only going to be memories.

School has been a mess, so far. Had my first lesson of Philosophy101,although school started a week ago, and a quiz. I was frustrated at the fact that I had a quiz which Ive never knew and much more even know shit about the content and whats more to even be in 101. okay, whatever, I'm repeating myself. So anyway, this sem is just a 2 day a week school which somewhat doesnt feel like going to school.

Sometimes, I wanna write. I wanna write about what happen everyday so that I know exactly where and what happened when. I wanna remember everything. But then again, I guess I'm just too lazy to actually do so. BUT I'LL TRY TO MAKE AN EFFORT! :)

Miss

2010-05-16T03:46:00.001+08:00

I Miss Thailand and Everyone there.
School is starting on Monday, HELP.